To Forget Her
by Dramione 4eva-luv
Summary: The real reason to why Peter wanted to take the memory serum and what really happened in the end... beware of the terrible grammar Not good at writing summary


A/N: This is my very first story that I have ever written… So, PLS don't be too harsh, kay? By the way ignore my grammar... Hope u liked this I was never good at any form of composition. The pairing is weird but at least I liked it so no flames. If you don't like this pairing, you wouldn't be here already , right? 

Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC in any form. It belongs to Bisco Hatori.  
With it said, lets get on with the story!

To Forget Her…

That moment seemed a miles away, something I cannot reach. I took the serum-Memory serum and drank itbin one gulp like one would drink a beer in one shot like a true Dauntless member that I could never be. I heard the muffled voice of Four as the serum's effect kicked in.

Be BRAVE. He said.

Brave is such a powerful word for me. The word always make me remember the days as an initiate as i tried in vain to fit into Dauntless being the top in the initiation, I would even sabotage others for it. Its not like the other member who did it for the honors but to keep me from being a Factionless. I am a coward. The value 'brave' is so foreign to me, its so hard to achieve.

However I came all too easily for her, Tris.

She was the one who has melted my heart and the one who made me see the truth in the world. She was too brave for her own good, standing in the stead of Al, leaving herself vulnerable. I tried to stop her with my teasing but it never happened. With every shot Four made, my heart sank and my stomach to stir.

Her bravery is something that i'm jeaslous of and I should be hating her but why? Why have I been more and more drawn to her with each passing day as I tried to hate her and ignore other feelings. The attraction it seemed, has started since she thrown her shirt at me and jumping down the building proving that I should just ruin her, destroy her.

Then why again have I decided to risk my life to save herin the Erudite headquarters, why have I not just have her killed off there, making my life much more easier than it have ever been since I met her. I told her that its just repaying a debt. Of course it is the repaying of the debt. At least it is what I wanted it to be. The answer must have sounded convincing to her as she just look away without another thought. I know the truth though, im just plain lying, I know it myself that self=deceiving is not the solution-I am from Candor, right?

Anger and jealousy boils in me as I look at the form of Four. Why must she choose him over me. The thought of them together has made me wanted to hurt her. But I am very well=aware that I could never really hurt her, I had liked her too much, loved her even. At the pit, I looked on as Drew and Al touch her. How much have I wanted to rip their hands off and throw them down the pit myself, yet I know that it was my own fault to ask them to make her pay. Prayers of her just breaking it with Four filled me.

Every time, when we were alone, someone would always come in and interrupt, making me lose my thoughts and the chance to apologize. All guilty, I would start to sprout out nonsense and once again upset her. I would then put on my façade of sneering and move on.

Would any of the fact that she hated me change if I change my original ways? Perhaps not but that at least is a try. I may not ever find out. For heaven's sake, SHE COULD BE DEAD NOW FOR ALL I KNOW! Even as a nausea and a pain in the neck, I hoped that she would have just given me another chance to redeem what I had done to hurt her before.

I couldn't concentrate anymore but I kept replaying the scenes in my hazy head, thinking- is this really worth it? Am I really this desperate as to use such means to forget her and the pain her presence has caused? Do I really want to forget her?

Such thoughts kept my gears in my brain moving as many different memories were erased mercilessly and even the precious moments with Tris would be wiped clean and I would just be a blank piece of paper again.

I wanted to remember her eventhough the mere thought of her alone would cause overwhelming pain to me.  
I feel suffocated.  
I needed to remember her.  
Reverse the serum.

I can't live without her. Even if she hate me, I would always love her from the sidelines and would be satisfied that she was at least safe.

Its all too late now all I could pray for was to meet you again as a better person.

That was my last thought before everything go blank, not knowing what just happened and the thoughts that was there just moments ago. I searched the depth of my mind, trying to find out whatever that I just lost as I touched my heart, feeling that I am missing something that is of the utmost importance to me and I just could not figure it out.

I finally found something, a image of a blond that was labeled as 'Tris'. However, how this name came to me, there is no clue. But what is this familiarity that I felt about this name. "Tris" the name rolled out of my tongue as I thought out loud, earning a full-on stare from a strange man with tattoo inks poking out of his shirt right in front of me. Uncertainty, gained on me as I look at him, do I know him?

Once again, "who is she?" I thought out loud, both asking the stranger and myself. Why is she in my brai while the rest of it is just a blur. Questions of my own bombarded my mind.

Tris- my mind spoke for a last time before I decided to keep that thought deep inside me. I felt a sudden pain from my heart as it spread to the restof me and my hands to eventually shake. I felt pain and… broken…

I silently allowed a few warm droplets to escape from my eyes as my brain demand for more information about this unknown feelings.

'Bye, Tris!', my thoughts were cut off mid-way as I vaguely remembered the last thoughts I had before something break in me.

The thoughts that I thought were wiped clean were coming back to me, hurting me both emotionally and physically like a thousand needles just poked me, stinging me. My heart was now throbbing with pain and my formerly silent sobs to turn into a full-blown cry filled with both pain and sadness.

"TRIS!" I screamed.

Then I hit me.

I COULD NEVER FORGET HER.

~FIN~

A/N: I hoped u like it. But did u guys caught into the hidden meaning?  
Read and Review. Tell me what u guys thought but flames will be used  
for marshmallows!


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